Things That I Have Lost
by sinemoras09
Summary: Adelle rises to power. Gen.


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Night fell like a thick black curtain over LA, the city skyline marked by streetlights and low-lying clouds.

Hearn slammed backwards into the chair, gasping and wheezing. Slowly, a trickle of blood dripped down his temple. "Enough," Adelle said. She brushed Mr. Dominic aside and leaned close to Hearn's face.

"Have we learned our lesson?" Adelle said.

"Fuck you," Hearn said.

She stood and turned. Behind her, she could hear another punch, the sound of a fist coming into contact with the other man's mouth. "Bitch," Hearn said. His voice was thick and panting. "_Whore_."

Adelle walked up to the window. In the dark, the window was a mirror, her reflection like an imprint on the nighttime sky.

xXx

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To be successful, one must be prepared to make certain sacrifices. It was something to which she had long grown accustomed.

Adelle was disciplined, both in practice and demeanor. Every morning she arrived at 5 AM. The elevator will be empty; the Actives will be asleep. Unlocking the door to her office, Adelle will shrug off her coat and head to her desk; there she will spend the day booking clients or recruiting actives; she will stay late into the night, waiting until all her affairs are in order before retiring for home.

_There was blood on the sofa and it wouldn't come out._

_Adelle dialed a number. "Yes. We've had another accident. I would be in your debt if you could send someone up to take care of this."_

_Adelle thumbed the blood and frowned with distaste. "Yes. Yes I understand it's short notice, but I have a client coming in the afternoon. No, I will _not_ throw a cover over it, this is a professional establishment."_

_Adelle closed her eyes and tapped the receiver against her forehead. "I will double your rate," Adelle said._

_She paced, the phone in her hand. Outside, the sun was beginning to rise; a thin watery light started to filter into the room. Streaks of blood were smeared on the walls and the blood on the couch began to pool onto the hardwood floors._

_"Thank you," Adelle said. She hung up the phone._

She couldn't help but second guess herself if the room was cold.

xXx

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In the early days of the Dollhouse, there was a violent merger: competing madams with competing technologies; rogue programmers and rumors of civilian kidnappings. Adelle watched with a detached expression as Mr. Dominic and a throng of armed men dragged her would-be competition by the hair.

"You'll never get away with this," the woman said. An American madam, Adelle thought. Young and impertinent, with no respect for order. There was blood on her temple and blood on the side of her lip. Guards yanked her forward; she stumbled and fell at Adelle's feet.

"You forget yourself," Adelle said. She knelt forward, looked at the woman straight in the eye. "This is my house. My territory. And though you've been given the entire southwest you've inexplicably migrated to my coast. Pity, really," Adelle said.

The woman spat. Adelle closed her eyes, then reached up and wiped the saliva from her face. Upon hearing of the woman's infraction, the higher-ups debated whether or not to kill her or send her to the attic. It was Adelle who came up with the more convenient solution.

"Take her for her first treatment," Adelle said.

The woman struggled. "No!" the woman said. She jerked forward but the guards yanked her back down. "You can't do this!" the woman said. They disappeared down the hall.

Adelle turned; she leaned forward against the railing and looked down at the crowd of the woman's former employees. "From now on, you will be working for me," Adelle said. "And if I hear of any objections, be forewarned: I am not averse to using force. I trust you will do what is right in this matter."

She nodded toward Mr. Dominic. "Draw up the contracts and make sure they're well-compensated," Adelle said. "Tell Topher to prep the new employees. Give them a partial wipe. We need to ensure their loyalty."

"Yes, ma'am," Dominic said. He turned and left. Behind him, Dr. Saunders watched, her eyes silently judging. And though her loyalty was also assured, Adelle couldn't help but feel a chill run up her spine.

xXx

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Once, and only once, Adelle authorized the wiping of a child.

She was nine years old; the man who brought her didn't want her to fight. "I want her to like it," he said.

He would have abused her anyway. He would have hurt her, beat her, taken her childhood away. "It can be arranged," Adelle said.

Because a nine year-old brain was easier to clean, the wipe would be much quicker than an adult's. The girl had come back crying, clutching her bear and her handler's hand. Topher gave her a lolly and let her color by his side. "Wipe those tears, little lady," Topher said. Adelle watched as he flipped the switch and wiped the pain away.

Adelle went back to her office. Then she locked the door and closed her blinds. She threw up all over the waste bin, then sobbed like an idiot child.

_"You know, you could take advantage of some of the side perks," Topher said. "You know. Borrow Victor for a day....take care of those feminine needs--"_

_"You needn't concern yourself with my 'feminine needs,' not unless you want to find yourself in the Attic," Adelle said._

Adelle smoothed her clothes and straightened her hair. Then she knocked on Mr. Dominic's door.

Over the years, Adelle had refined her techniques. Control for her was no longer a matter of brute force; it was a suggestion, a whisper of a threat.

When she authorized the kill, her superiors didn't even blink.

Outside, an autumn storm grew, rain pouring and washing away every trace of murder from the pedophile's body. Adelle stood with a black umbrella and watched as the life dribbled out from his insides, blood swirling in dark eddies around her Jimmy Choos and coagulating into a thick black paste.

It was, to be sure, one of the _perks_.

"I think I'm finally satisfied," Adelle said.

Dominic nodded, then opened the door to the van.

xXx

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_The new soon-to-be Active was a rather delicate thing, blonde with large blue eyes and a rosebud mouth. "I think I'm pregnant," the new girl said. There was fear in her eyes. "Can't this wait? I just...I just want to have my baby..."_

_A tear rolled down her pretty face. Adelle's mouth thinned. "My dear, if you don't sign this, you won't live long enough to bring the child to term."_

_The girl's shoulders began to shake. Adelle pushed the contract forward. "It will be taken care of," Adelle said. "You have my word."_

_The girl nodded. Adelle watched in silence as the girl valiantly held back her tears. Contract signed and dated; the pen shaking in the girl's hand._

_"Good," Adelle said. She took the contract and stood. "My associate will escort you to the reading room," Adelle said. "There you'll meet our programmer, Topher. I'm sure you two will get along famously."_

_"What about my baby?" the girl asked._

_Adelle looked at her hands. "As I said, it will be taken care of," Adelle said._

_The glass doors closed. She took a breath and poured herself a drink._

_Success, after all, took more than simple discipline._

xXx

.

Much to Adelle's chagrin, there was a new rumor bandying about the staff of the Dollhouse: that their ruthless and singularly driven Madam might actually be a Doll.

The idea, of course, was preposterous. A rumor borne out of the rumblings of lower Madams and overly-caffeinated programmers. They say the Madams are Dolls past their prime, Dolls too old for run-of-the-mill engagements. It certainly made sense, and if Adelle were of a somewhat weaker constitution, she might even allow herself to _wonder_.

Madams, after all, never lasted more than a few years.

xXx

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When Hearn was dead and lying slack-jawed across November's coffee table, Adelle did not feel satisfaction. Only the crushing weight of her own oversight. The shame of it made her face burn. "Is Sierra finished?" Adelle asked.

Topher nodded. "Just about," Topher said. He typed on the keyboard and brought Sierra out of her slumber.

_"What we do here is a good thing," Adelle told Caroline. "We take away their pain. Ease their suffering. We're in the business of helping people."_

Adelle sat at her desk and remembered. Caroline had been angry. She had stood, practically shouting. _"What the fuck are you trying to pull?"_

Adelle glanced at the monitor and watched Sierra walking back to her room. Then she hunched over and pressed her face to her hands.

_"I understand where you are coming from," Adelle said. "Believe me, I do. But know this: what I am offering here is a chance to start over. You are in the winter of your life, Caroline. But I can help you see the spring."_

_Adelle slid the papers under Caroline's hands. "Sign now," Adelle said. "And when you wake up, the flowers will bloom."_


End file.
